Carol, my wife and the love of my life, early in our relationship gave me an appropriate piece of advice. She said that "This (life) is not a dress rehearsal - we only go around once". Carol and I met while I was on a project in Lubbock, Texas. The client, Dr. Randy Hickle, a cardiovascular anesthesiologist, brought us together.  We try to live and work to that advice and not be consumed with worry or other negative human traits.

I think back to when, at a much younger age, I believed learning probably slows down as one ages. Learning in the sense of one being exposed to new things and appreciating the newness or difference. Not true. There are two aspects about consulting that provides the "rush' in me and gets the neurons firing and that is new projects and the people I encounter. There can be a great deal of sameness in the actual work and I still do categorize each consulting assignment based on what the "norms" are but each "job" is different due to the players. Even when I work with long time associates we seem to embark on a learning journey.

My father, bitter from early life experiences, did achieve considerable professional success even with only elementary education.  His success was from a constant life focus on his work, his determination (guts), a talent for mechanisms, and a memory that very seldom forgot anything. Despite our strong differences, while I was growing and coming up, he did impart three principles that have significantly affected me.

First, he said on occasion that  "you can slide farther on s... than on cinders". A phrase used for Being Political. Politics, as I define it, is to smooth over issues and news with a blend of truth, innuendo, kind praise, questionable facts, false modesty, and indirectness that leaves the listener believing that all is well if some small things are fixed or changed. I am not sure I really have appreciated that saying since I have never had the reputation or gift of being politically astute. I understand the concept and have tried it, but my character for bluntness and honest thoughts comes through and I am seen as being politically naive.

Second, he taught me by example that nothing is given without a cost. I was allowed to use the family car, at his very erratic discretion, but I paid him 6 cents per mile, had to refuel the car before returning it, and had to pay for anything that might and did happen while I was with the car. Amongst my teenage friends it was kindly described as a one of a kind situation. A hard and often repeated lesson with all aspects of our relationship. I suppose, since I have been described as generous with my assets, time, and emotional energy that I must have lost or revised the lesson.

The exception is my professional life: if I am asked for help or advice I assume it must be of some value to the asker and thus, I should be compensated for that advice. I realize to build a relationship with a potential client one has to demonstrate and sell ones skills, but my motivation in doing so is within the limits of a strong potential for a paid consulting arrangement.  I have produced well in  "back end or deferred" compensation arrangements for my services and gained financially from some and suffered/lost from others. I believe such deals are good business (for myself and the client) when I am a significant participant in the client's business and potential success. 

Third, the most profound of his advice was "if you enjoy or don't feel sorry for firing a person or laying them off then it is time to do something else in life". In my years prior to consulting I had to perform layoffs and included wholesale layoffs when managing two company closures. A most emotional and gut wrenching process.